Musings On The Will Of God

  • Mike Rydman
  • Sep 20, 2006

Musings on the Will of God

 

The Rydman Tribe had a conversation recently about the will of God. We had just completed our study on the Book of Colossians, and a little verse in the final chapter drew us to discuss our relative understanding of knowing with confidence God's will.

 

Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured. (Colossians 4:12)

 

We pulled out my copy of a fun book, William Barker's Everyone in the Bible, and learned that Epaphras must have known, or at least questioned God's will in his own life. We learned that he was originally from Colossae, and had most likely planted the church in his hometown. (This would certainly explain his keen interest and concern for that church.) He had gone to Rome to visit the Apostle Paul who was in prison, and once there found himself also thrown into prison. That's why Paul referred to Epaphras as a "fellow prisoner" and a "faithful minister."

 

At the same time, I can't help but wonder what Epaphras must have thought when he found himself chained up in Rome. Did he question God's will in his life? Did he regret his going to see Paul in the first place? Or did he simply trust the sovereignty of God, even when it meant some serious inconvenience.

 

I have found myself questioning not the will of God, but my understanding of it. Scripture is quite clear regarding God's will as it applies to all of us. If I stop and think, I can come up with many things Scripture tells us to be and do: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength;" "Love your neighbor as yourself," and countless others. Rather, I find myself questioning myself when it comes to sensing and knowing with confidence God's will specific for me.

 

Over a year and a half ago, Deb and I felt the certain leading of God to relocate our family to Everett. We have lived in Mukilteo for over thirteen years, but we sense our time in this house was coming to and end, and that our Lord wanted us to live where He had positioned Soteria Church. In the time since, Deb has probably walked through over 100 homes, and we have not found a place that works for us, or that we can afford. This causes me to want to reconsider my conclusions regarding God's will for the Rydmans.

 

On another scale, Soteria's elders have been unified in our sensing that God wants us to change the time of when we meet on Sundays for worship, from evenings to mornings. For a number of reasons, including the testimony of several if not many other young churches we felt God leading Soteria to make this change. However, actually finding a location has been quite a different matter. I have had interactions with many entities in Everett, and to date nothing has materialized as a positive option. This too has caused me to want to reconsider my conclusions regarding the will of God.

 

Even this morning while writing in my prayer journal I asked God, "Do I misread you this much?" "Do I think you're telling me something, and yet I consistently get it wrong?" I asked God if there is unrepentant sin in me that is blocking my ability to know and do God's will. I have become almost distrustful of my own heart, my own receptors.

 

However, in the course of these two major "quests" and my questions I have also heard God speaking to me. I have clearly sensed Jesus telling me to put more emphasis on knowing Him, and not just constantly asking for the roadmap. I have also heard Him tell me to be patient, to trust His timing as a key component in His purposes for me.

 

I have only come to realize in recent days that being the Lead Pastor of a church-plant has a lot to do with what Jesus wants to "plant" in me. I am becoming increasingly unimpressed with my own virtues, abilities, motives and personal agendas. I am also becoming increasingly more aware and impressed with the sovereignty of God in my life. Like Job said to God, after enduring pain and loss, proclaiming his own virtue and questioning God's ways, and having received God's response, "I am unworthy - how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer - twice, but I will say no more." "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted." (Job 40:4-5; 42:2).

 

I am fully confident that God is doing exactly what He wants, and how He wants to do it in my life, and in the life of Soteria Church, as confusing as it all may be to me. I am not at all confident I understand His ways, or His timing, and I am certainly not confident that I consistently hear Him right. Like you, I am called to be faithful to be and do what I do know to be and do. Like the priests who carried the Ark had to first step into the Jordan River before God gave them a dry path to the other side, I guess we can do nothing else but continue taking the steps we each feel called to take, leaving the details and conclusions to God Himself.